


Double Agent

by thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Extramarital Affairs, Face-Fucking, Infidelity, M/M, Riding, Sex on church grounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-13 23:41:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11770902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo/pseuds/thesinnerwiththedolphintattoo
Summary: Mary suspects her husband is cheating on her and asks Robert to find out if he is. This goes as poorly as you would expect.





	Double Agent

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my best to replicate Robert's wonderful texting style in the beginning of this. Double text who????

_Rob  
Rob I need a favor from you_

Robert groaned, pickup up his phone as the LED light shown bright in his face. He was too hungover to deal with Mary, head still pounding from their drinking the night before.

**woman it’s too damn early for this  
what do you want**

_It’s noon get ur ass out of bed already old man_

**how are you this awake already  
how are you not hungover**

_Oh I’m hungover don’t you worry bout that_  
I just have responsibilities  
_You know_  
 _I got things to do_

**of course  
what the hell do you want from me then**

_I think Joe’s cheating on me_

**no fucking shit**

_You could at least be a bit sympathetic you ass_

**so the barbie dreamhouse isn’t all its cracked up to be**

_Stfu  
Just help me ok_

**are we gonna kill him**  
**i got my shovel around here somewhere**  
 **and you know i’ve got enough knives**  
 **though I think everyone would suspect me if he got stabbed to death**  
 **we might have to go with plan b**  
 **choke him out with one of his ropes**  
 **god knows he has enough of those**  
 **i know how to wash blood out of clothes**

_Rob shut up  
I need you to make sure he’s cheating on me_

**how**

_Idk flirt with him or something_  
_See if he tries to sleep with you_  
 _Whatever it takes_  
 _I just want to be sure_

**you want me to hit on your husband**

_Yes_

**you’re fucking crazy**

_Please_  
_I’m serious_  
 _No kidding around_  
 _I need to know_

Robert rolled over and groaned into his pillow before finally responding.

**fine  
but you owe me big time**

_You’re my hero_

Robert pushed himself out of bed and slumped into the kitchen, starting his brew and pouring himself a good morning shot. He was doing really well for himself. Coffee, whiskey, and some leftover pizza— his usual breakfast. Or rather lunch, since he never woke up in time for breakfast. He wasn’t sure if his head, arteries, or liver were screaming at him more, but he knew Mary seriously needed his help. She never asked for favors— especially ones that involved her personal life. They both preferred to avoid discussing that kind of shit, even with each other.

If he was going to go through with this plan he needed to clean himself up a bit, so he hopped in the shower and brushed his teeth, even going as far as running a comb through his hair. It was the simple things that made the difference, especially when you were the type of person who rarely took care of themselves. Once he finished and slumped down onto the couch with Betsy he texted Mary again.

**so how am i gonna seduce your husband**

_You’re gonna hate this_

**i already do  
nothing could make this good**

_He’s having another goddamn bake sale today  
You should help him out_

**you know that’s like my worst nightmare**

_Robert_

**no**

_Rob_

**_i won’t_ **

_Robbie_

**fine**  
**but that’ll cost you extra**  
 **will you at least come and keep me company**

_That totally takes away from what we’re going for dude  
My husband’s not gonna hit on you with me right there_

**pretty sure he would**

_Ugh  
I’m not going_

**i can’t believe you’re making me sell cookies and flirt with ken**

_At least the food is good_

Robert rolled his eyes and turned his phone screen off. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and said goodbye to Betsy before leaving the house and hopping into his beat-up truck.

He sat in the driver’s seat without moving for a few minutes as he thought about what he was about to do. He slammed his keys into the ignition and drove off to the church as the guilt rose in him. He might have had Mary’s blessing, but it didn’t make him feel any better about the whole situation.

He parked and rather than getting out, he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, trying to get himself to calm down. He didn’t want to do this— couldn’t do this, but he knew he had to. He just kept reminding himself that it was for Mary. That excuse was getting flimsier by the second.

He spotted Joseph and a few volunteers moving tables out under the tents and setting up shop for the sale. There were so many sweets of different varieties and Robert convinced himself that his mouth was watering because of them, rather than the view of Joseph in his always-too-tight clothing, bending over and giving Robert a great view of his ass.

Robert was fucked.

After stamping out his second cigarette, Robert finally got out of the truck, slamming the door and walking over to where Joseph was sitting at a table alone. Hands in his pockets, he kicked out the chair and slumped down into it.

Joseph’s expression was one of shock, but he smiled and handed Robert a cookie, “What a lovely surprise, seeing you here. You never come to these bake sales!”

“Yeah, well your wife didn’t want to come so she sent me.”

Joseph chuckled, “Of course she did. She was never really into these. I’m glad you came, though, we can really use the help.”

“Can it, Christiansen, I’m not here to listen to you go on and on, I’m just here to do what your wife asked me, maybe eat some of these cookies, and leave.” Robert realized belatedly that he should probably be nicer, or at least a bit flirtier, but it was difficult when he hated every part of the situation he was in.

“Now, now. No need to be rude.”

“How do you do it?” Robert didn’t mean to ask this question, but god was it killing him. “How do you so effortlessly pretend you’re happy?”

Joseph frowned, “Why do you think I’m pretending?”

“You know how close your wife and I are, I know you two fucking despise each other. But at least she’s honest about it. And then there’s you, always smiling and cheerful, as if you have no problems.”

Joseph thought for a moment before answering, “I wouldn’t say I’m pretending. I’m quite happy with my life. Things may not be perfect between my wife and I, but we love each other and make it work. Plus, I have great children and a stellar community backing me.”

“Bullshit.”

The smile that crept across Joseph’s face could only be described as creepy. It appeared normal but there was obviously something much more sinister underneath., “Robert, I’m going to have to ask you to stop swearing. There are a lot of children around, not to mention we’re on church grounds.”

Robert raised an eyebrow playfully, finally seeing his chance to flirt with the man, “Or what? What’re you gonna do to make me stop?”

“I have my ways,” Joseph practically purred, making Robert gulp. There was a devilish look in Joseph’s eyes and Robert had a feeling he knew where this was going.

“Why’d you agree to it, Robert?” Joseph asked, his hand finding Robert’s knee before creeping up closer to his thigh.

“Agree to what?” The words were almost choked out. Robert could barely breathe.

“I know why my wife sent you. She’s been getting more and more suspicious. She doesn’t trust me, but she trusts you. She shouldn’t, though. I see the way you look at me. Did you think I didn’t notice you sitting in your truck and watching me earlier? I even made the effort to give you a bit of a show. And yet, you still came over here.”

Joseph’s hand was now massaging Robert’s thigh under the table as his face inched closer, “Why’d you come, Robert?”

“It’s not— you’re wrong—“ Robert really couldn’t breathe as the hand in his lap crept up and began rubbing at his crotch and, oh god, he was definitely hard.

Joseph was now whispered into his ear, voice low and husky, “You’re bad, Rob. My dear wife just wants you to see if I’ll try and get in your pants, and when I do, you won’t say no. You must’ve felt so guilty when she asked because you knew you couldn’t refuse me. Or were you just happy she gave you permission to flirt with me? Though, if that’s the case, I don’t actually think she wanted you to fuck me when she asked for your help.”

The curse reverberated In Robert’s ears and he was suddenly more turned on than ever before. Joseph rarely swore and hearing those words come from his mouth, they went straight to Robert’s dick. He bit his lip to stifle any noises that tried to escape.

Joseph grinned against his ear as he felt Robert get even harder, “Oh, you like that? You like me talking dirty? Well you and me, we’re gonna head back into my office in the church and I’m gonna get on my knees and suck your cock like I’m praying to God, just like I’ve always wanted to. Then you’re gonna open me up and fuck me against my desk until I’m delirious and screaming your name, so loud it’ll be a miracle if no one catches us. Or you can sit down in my chair and I can sit on your cock like it’s my throne and ride you like you’ve never been ridden before. It’s your choice. Either way, you’re gonna regret not giving into your temptations sooner. Come find me in a few minutes, Robbie,” Joseph smirked, licking his lips, before standing and walking into the church, leaving Robert completely breathless.

Robert wasn’t sure if he was actually swinging his hips more than usual as he walked away, but it made his throat go dry.

The only coherent thought that ran through Robert’s mind was  _holy fucking shit_. He figured Joseph had been cheating on Mary but never in a million years did he expect him to be so brazen about it. He felt his cock throb as he remembered all the dirty promises Joseph had made and guilt washed over him. He had been right when he said that Robert agreed to help Mary in the first place partly because he wanted it— wanted him. No matter how much he told himself he was doing this for Mary, he knew that deep down he was getting exactly what he hoped for out of it. He never did plan on backing down if Joseph had propositioned him, he just wasn’t able to admit that to himself earlier. Now there was no denying. He was a terrible friend and a terrible person, but he had wanted to fuck Joseph Christiansen from the moment they met. If he hadn’t known Mary, he wasn’t sure how long ago he would’ve gone after him. And now his dirtiest fantasies were being served to him on a platter and Joseph clearly wanted it too.

He stood, walking awkwardly as his hard-on pressed against his jeans uncomfortably, and decided that he’d worry about what he was going to tell Mary later as he approached the church.

He found Joseph standing outside his office, smirk still plastered on his face. “Glad to see you turned down the opportunity to walk away and never look back.”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Robert mumbled and he grabbed Joseph by his stupid tight pastel shirt and pushed him into his office. The door swung shut and he was immediately shoved against it as Joseph crushed their lips together, fingers in Robert’s belt loops. Joseph moaned into the kiss unashamed and rocked his hips against Robert’s. It was obvious now that he was just as hard.

The two sloppily made out and grinded against each other like teenagers, Joseph reaching up under Robert’s shirt and sliding his hands over his chest, until he pulled away, wiping the trail of spit that connected their mouths with his hand.

Without wasting any more time Joseph grabbed at Robert’s belt and undid it, pulling down his zipper and sinking to his knees. He made a show of pulling Robert’s dick out of his underwear and sinking his mouth down around it, moaning as he went.

He looked perfect, mouth stuffed full of cock, hair tousled in a disheveled way that hung down on his face. He looked like he was in his element. Robert would never be able to see him the same again— the cool and innocent youth minister was gone forever.

Joseph looked up at him, blue eyes shining under his eyelashes, drooping in a look of pure ecstasy. Robert had never seen someone look so turned on just by sucking cock, but there was a first for everything. By now Joseph had taken him entirely into his mouth, which was no small feat, as Robert wasn’t a small man. He pulled off and licked up and down the thick cock like it was his favorite treat.

Seeing Robert so completely wrecked, Joseph couldn’t help but smile, “What’s wrong, not what you were expecting? I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors, so you know I have quite a bit of experience under my belt.” He sucked at the tip, licking away all of the precum and grinning, “God, Robert, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“You’re an even bigger slut than I thought,” Robert grunted and shoved an index finger into Joseph’s mouth, holding his lips open as he shoved his cock unceremoniously into his mouth.  Joseph’s eyes closed as Robert fucked his face, holding his mouth open. His eyes opened in surprise when Robert grabbed his hair and pulled him by it, slamming into Joseph’s open mouth mercilessly.

Joseph moaned again, shifting underneath him, even more turned on by being manhandled. Everything about this was a shock to Robert’s system but he’d by lying if he said he didn’t like it.

Robert could feel his orgasm approaching and, afraid to end it all too quickly, he wrenched Joseph off of his cock, leaving him panting, head leaning against the door. They sure weren’t being quiet and he wondered if anyone had heard them. He wasn’t sure if he cared if they were found.

“Get up and lay on your desk,” his voice was stern, commanding, making Joseph lick his lips again. “You got condoms and lube?”

“In the drawer,” Joseph smiled so sweetly Robert thought he might puke. As Joseph climbed on top of the desk, Robert rummaged through the drawers until he found what he was looking for— and a whole lot more.

“Holy shit, you’re unbelievable,” he shook his head at the drawer filled with condoms, lube, robe, and various other sex toys and items that no longer held an innocent meaning once they were placed in the drawer.

Joseph shrugged, “What can I say, I have an unfulfilling marriage and I need some way to let off steam.”

“This is more than letting off steam, this—“ Robert would’ve said more but he lost his train of thought immediately upon seeing Joseph splayed out on his desk, pants discarded, cock unbelievably hard and leaking, legs bent, two fingers already crammed into his asshole. Robert couldn’t believe what he was seeing— the real thing was better than any image his mind threw together in the middle of the night when he was alone and jerking off like a teenager. He had to fight the urge to move Joseph’s fingers out of the way and fuck him raw.

He watched as Joseph used his slick fingers to open himself up, his back arching in pleasure as they brushed against his prostate. Robert already had his cock in his hands and was stroking along with the pace Joseph was fingering himself.

Joseph finally pulled his fingers out and held himself open, looking into Robert’s eyes, “Come on, Robert, fuck me like you’ve never fucked anyone before.”

Robert reached back into the drawer hastily for a condom but was stopped by Joseph’s protest, “I want you to fill me up with your big cock and then your cum. I’ve waited too long for this and if I’m not walking funny with your cum dripping down my leg I’m gonna be disappointed, so help me God.”

That was all it took for Robert to close the distance between them and shove himself into Joseph’s tight hole. He bottomed out and waited to give Joseph a moment to adjust, but Joseph was too impatient.

“God damn it, just fuck me silly already!”

He didn’t have to tell Robert twice. He pulled out and slammed back in relentlessly and Robert saw stars as Joseph clenched around him. Joseph’s moans were louder than ever before and combined with the creaking of the desk there was no way someone wasn’t gonna hear them.

“What if someone—“

“No one’s gonna hear—ah—cause no one’s around. And even if they were, would you stop?”

Robert didn’t answer because they both knew he wouldn’t be able to. Plus, he couldn’t get enough of the desperate noises Joseph was making.

“Do the others know how big of a slut you are, moaning like a whore just from being fucked by my cock? Or when you almost came just by sucking me off? I wonder what your wife would think,” he punctuated his words with particularly hard thrusts and Joseph looked like he was in heaven.

“I wonder what my wife would think if she knew the agent she sent was too busy fucking the daylights out of her husband to do his job? You know, I don’t think you were actually supposed to fuck me,” he grinned, his words occasionally broken by moans he couldn’t hold back.

“She already knows you’re a whore, has known for a while. Though, I don’t think she’s realized to what extent, yet.”

“And she won’t,” Joseph’s eyes seemed to darken, “Because you won’t be able to tell her the truth. Because the only way you can keep fucking me and still have her as a friend is to keep us your dirty little secret.”

Robert paused for a moment, “This isn’t a one-time thing?”

Joseph chuckled, wrapping his legs around Robert and pulling him in deeper, letting out a string of curses before answering, “Unless you cut it off, I’m not letting you and your big cock get away. And I know you won’t, since you’re finally getting what you want.”

He wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck and kissed him deeply, panting and moaning into his mouth.

Robert could feel his orgasm approaching again and when he tried to warn Joseph he was pushed off with more force than he thought Joseph had.

“You’re not leaving me like this, are you?”

“Oh no,” Joseph closed his eyes as Robert pulled out of him. Once they were separated Joseph pushed Robert back into his chair and looked at him hungrily, “I told you I was going to ride you, didn’t I?”

Robert couldn’t believe this was all happening in one day as Joseph positioned himself above Robert and sunk down onto him with a long and drawn out moan. The perfect husband and family man, father of four, and all-around goody-goody was sitting on his cock like it was where he was meant to be. When he moved, dear god, Robert felt like he could’ve come then and there.

Joseph used his thighs, which were actually quite muscular, to push himself up and down, setting a rhythm until he was literally bouncing on Robert’s cock and the dirty sound of flesh slapping against flesh echoed throughout the room.

Robert leaned forward and kissed Joseph’s neck, tongue and teeth sliding against him. Joseph let out an especially loud moan when Robert sunk his teeth into his collarbone.

“What happened to not wanting Mary to know?” Joseph said breathlessly and Robert almost smacked himself.

“Sorry, I—“

Joseph kissed him again, sliding his tongue into Robert’s mouth and they were back to the sloppiness they had earlier, “I think it’s hot, I’m not mad. She doesn’t have to know it was you, but I will.”

Joseph’s began to roll his hips more slowly as they both came close to their orgasms, before Robert slammed into him from below. Joseph screamed out, more full than ever before. It was enough to shock his orgasm out of him and he clenched down around Robert as he came, cum shooting onto Robert’s chest.

Joseph’s ass clenching like that was enough to rock Robert’s orgasm out of him too and he came hard into Joseph’s ass. There was so much that Joseph could barely move at how full he was.

“How long has it been since you last fucked someone?” Joseph laughed, leaning his head against Robert’s shoulder.

“Too damn long.” He buried his head in the crook of Joseph’s neck and ignored the guilt that was approaching, choosing instead to focus on the blissfulness he felt with Joseph in his arms. He’d deal with everything else later.


End file.
